Are you concerned about your child’s anxiety?

Anxiety is not always easy to recognize in children. They may cry, isolate themselves, they may seem extra sensitive or even irritable, or they may worry excessively. The first step is to recognize that your child is anxious. It may be tempting to reassure your child by using phrases such as, ‘You have nothing to worry about.” While it may seem like you are comforting your child, statements like that often dismiss their emotions and may even hint at saying you should not be feeling this way.

When you acknowledge or label an emotion such as anxiety or worry your child may feel more comfortable expressing themself and communicating with you. Sometimes it is even helpful to normalize the emotion by attributing a silly name, as many children may be fearful of their intense emotions. Or maybe they have been having nightmares which are causing more worry and anxiety. Creating a silly name and labeling their worry and anxiety is one step closer to facing it and overcoming their fear. You and your child may work together and come up with a silly name like Underpants Worry Monster or Crybaby, etc. You get the idea.

Now that you have both acknowledged the anxiety and labeled it, now it’s time to get creative and draw it in a silly way. You and your child may want to add silly hair or have the monster be in a diaper. After your child has drawn their worries and fears, now is the perfect time to add coping mechanisms such as using creative ways on how your child may defeat the monster and who can help. This visual aid is a helpful tangible item that your child may recall during any moment they become caught in a worry loop, have them carry this drawing and visualize defeating the worry monster. This is one way of changing the narrative or script and visualizing a more positive outcome.

Sometimes children may be consumed with worry throughout their day. At this point it may be helpful to create a worry time. This is a designated time and specific length of time where your child can worry. I may recommend 15 to 30 minutes everyday, but at least 1 to 2 hours before bedtime. However, for this coping mechanism to work the child may need reminders throughout the day if they start to worry or appear anxious that they can only worry during the designated time. The idea behind this technique is so that your child will not be consumed throughout the day with worry, but will only have a specific and limited time to think anxious thoughts. You and your child have control over their worry and this technique helps them affirm that control. When this technique is practiced on a regular basis, your child may require less and less worry time.

If you or your child need more support, reach out to a local therapist/psychologist. More information about Dr. Fontes and her services may be found on her website (www.fontestherapy.com).